Many times you see an offers for "free fingerprinting" at businesses as a promotion or open house. Many children do not want to have the prints done and their discomfort with the process leaves a bad impression on the child and poor impression on the paper.

I recognize that the businesses are earnest in their intent (to save the children). What we offer businesses instead is information on Protective Behaviors (PB's) and use the opportunity to "train the trainer" in that we discuss Protective Behaviors with the adult and indicate that if they begin using this technique at home, it will be reinforced in the schools.

Without fail, a child is most vulnerable to a person they know rather than a stranger. In cases of abduction, sexual or physical abuse, perpetrators are much more likely to be family, friend or acquaintance. Fingerprints won't help the child!

PB's teaches the child to ask for help and to keep asking for help until someone gives them the help they need. It teaches the child that nothing is so awful that they can't talk about it with a safe person.

PB's teaches the child to identify safe, trustworthy people in their life.

PB's teaches a child that secrets do not have to be kept. It is not uncommon for threats or coercion to be involved in abuse cases. A child can keep a secret if it is short term or fun (birthday presents are an example of a short term, fun secret). Again, the child can seek out a safe person.

PB's teaches a child to be aware of their body. Feelings of discomfort or stress can be manifested in upset stomachs, headaches or any number of other physical cues. PB's also allows a child to set physical limits and that it is perfectly alright to say NO to people as relates to their body.

PB's does not use the language "good-touch / bad-touch because sexual touching does not necessarily feel bad. PB's talks about physical awareness.

PB's talks about always having a safety net, even if a child is alone. This is done through the First Rule of Safety and the 3 W's:

WHO the child is with, WHERE the child is and WHEN the child will return.

It is also important for the responsible adult to know WHAT the child is doing

PB's teaches the child that they have the right to feel safe all of the time and encourages the child to think about places they can go to feel safe.

PB's also teaches the child to recognize that they have the responsibility to behave in such a way that other people around them can feel safe too.

PB's encourages children to explore life. It is called Risking On Purpose. It is good for a child to have new and varied experiences. Some can even be a little scary! Riding on a rollercoaster, making a new friend, talking in front of the class.......... all very different experiences. What is scary or risky for one, may be fun and exciting for another. It is good to experiment with options while being aware that the child has the ability to set boundaries.