The Cycle of Domestic Violence
usually occurs in four phases: Tension Building Phase, The Incident, Reconciliation
and Calm.
The cycle can happen hundreds of times in an abusive relationship. Each stage lasts a
different amount of time in a relationship, with the total cycle taking from a few hours
to a year or more to complete.
It is important to remember that not all domestic violence relationships
“fit” the cycle. Often, as time goes on, the reconciliation and calm stages may
disappear. |
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Incident
- Any type of abuse occurs (physical/sexual/emotional)
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Tension Building
- Tension starts to build
- Minor incidents begin
- Breakdown of communication
- Victim feels the need to placate the abuser
- Tension becomes unbearable
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Reconciliation
- Abuser apologizes for abuse
- Promises it will never happen again
- Blames victim for provoking abuse
- Denies abuse took place or that it wasn’t as bad as
the victim claims
- Gift giving by abuser
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Calm
- Incident is “forgotten”
- No abuse is taking place
- Some promises made during reconciliation
are being met
- Hope on the part of the victim that the abuse is over
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From: Domestic Abuse Intervention Project
206 West Fourth Street
Duluth, Minnesota 55806
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