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Madison Police Department - Safety Education Program |
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Our Children Have the Right to Feel Safe All the Time!The First Rule of Safety (for everyone, not just kids) Someone must always know:
Do you follow this rule with and for your loved ones? Parents and grown-ups in children's lives are their role models. Children mimic the adults around them and expect that the grown-ups can read a child's mind. That's why it's so important for all of us to discuss with our children all the safety issues that may be a problem to a child, and listen when our children try to talk to us. We teach our children how to cross busy streets, how to ride their bikes safely, how to brush their teeth, proper nutrition, personal hygiene, and not to go anywhere with a stranger. Let's teach them to follow the safety rule - not to go anywhere with anyone unless someone who cares for them knows where they are, who they're with and when they'll be home. (This covers the possibility of someone known to the child attempting an enticement.) We must, as responsible adults, also talk with our children about abuse, particularly sexual abuse. Because approximately 90% of children who are sexually abused are abused by someone they know, it's okay for a child to say "NO" to anyone (even someone they know or a family member) who tries to hurt a child, take nude photographs, or touch a child in ways that are confusing, uncomfortable or upsetting. It is especially important for parents to encourage their child to tell them about any such incidents. If a child relates a problem, praise the child and assure her/him that you will help. Young children do not make up detailed stories of sexual abuse. They don't have the experience. (Do they?) It's very important to tell the child that you believe them and report the incident to the police or your county social services department for investigation and follow-up. Everyone involved needs help with this problem. Nurturing physical touch is believed to be necessary to every person's well being. Children can be encouraged to enjoy giving and receiving nurturing touches. Children need to be taught that it's never okay to hurt someone else on purpose. They can also be taught that it's okay to say "NO", "STOP" to someone hurting them on purpose, or to other confusing or upsetting touches. Reassure your children that their world is an exciting, interesting, rewarding place to live and most adults are only interested in the child's welfare. This information is much like learning to ride a bicycle safely or learning what to do in case of a fire. Once you know what to do, you don't have to worry about it. A child's sense of inquisitiveness and loving does not have to be stunted in this process. Teaching these coping skills and strategies is not limiting, it's empowering. Parents - you are your child's most persuasive teacher! COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR CHILDREN - TALK AND LISTEN OFFICE OF SAFETY EDUCATION Help Us - Help You - Help Them Themes: We all have the right to feel safe all the time. Concept of Safe/Unsafe. Discuss what feeling "safe" feels like. How does your body help warn you that you may be in a scary or unsafe situation? (Your stomach feels "funny," your knees shake, your heart beats hard or fast.) Teach children to trust instincts and say or do whatever they must to take care of themselves. Stress that adventurousness and risk-taking is okay, within the concept of safety. Teach children that we all have a responsibility for other people to feel safe with us also. Nothing is so awful we can't talk with someone about it. Networking. Who are your "safe" people? (Trusted others?) Who could you ask for help with any problem? We all need to know at least four people, besides the people we live with, we could ask for help if we have a problem we can't solve ourselves. Persistence Expectation. If the first person you ask for help doesn't believe you or can't help you - keep asking until someone helps you solve the problem and you feel safe again. Strategies: To maintain control and protect privacy, no one should be allowed to blurt out personal experiences in a group. Learn the "protective interrupting" skill if you are working with a group. Stay in the one step removed problem-solving mode (ex. "Today we're talking about what could someone do if ..." or "what would you say if someone told you ..." or "a friend of mine needs to know ...") Brainstorming. Discuss strategies and techniques for staying safe in various potentially unsafe or abusive situations. Use scenarios and ask, "Even if... (this) happened, what could you do to stay safe?" and "Suppose... (this) happened, what could you do to stay safe?" questions. This process develops the ability to see more than one solution to a problem and explore suggested alternatives for safety factors. A wide variety of topics and issues can be covered using these themes, strategies and ideas, from enticement prevention to the safety issues for childcare "sitters" or runaways. Ideas Reinforced: Saying No. It's important to reinforce empowered responses to help build problem-solving skills and self-esteem, and to develop assertive behavior. Encourage children to take what control they can; remind them to use their network; and let them know that it's always okay to say "NO" in any potentially unsafe situation. Acknowledge that saying no isn't always easy and the possibility exists that saying no might not work. Sometimes a person may feel that it's not safe to say no. Remind them to take the next step and ask themselves what else they could do even if they weren't able to say no. Never the Child's Fault. Reinforce that child abuse is never the child's fault. Remind the child that it will be up to the child to ask a trusted adult for help with any problem they can't solve. Reassure that it was good for them to tell about the problem. Secrets. Explore the concept of secrets. Secrets should be fun. (Like a birthday or Christmas present that everyone will feel good about.) Such comments as, "If you tell anyone 'our' secret, no one will love us anymore" and, "If you tell about this, they'll send me away" or "If you say anything, I'll tell them you're lying" are threats, not secrets, and it's okay to tell someone you trust about that. Based on Madison Metropolitan School District's Student Anti-victimization Education (S.A.V.E.) Protective Behaviors Program. |
